Failure isn't *really* Failure

We seem to have this notion in our heads that if something doesn't go our way, right away, we have irrevocably failed and it was never meant to be. But if we applied this logic to literally anything else, it would be considered extreme behavior. I mean...if a recipe doesn't turn out, you don't throw away your stove. So how is it that we have been so conditioned to believe that we are only as good as our physical accomplishments? (Girl, don't get me started...) The opposite is actually true. Let me offer this piece of perspective: a failure is simply a redirection because the timing was off. You can apply that statement to anything. Failed a test? You needed a deeper understanding of the content which you will need at a different time. Maybe when you retake the course, you're going to meet the love of your life, or make a connection with someone who will change the course of your life, or even not be in an accident if you had passed the course and were at the location you would have been at if you were not in the course. Failed in a relationship? This is also a redirect. Either, the person was not going to let you live the best version of yourself, or, now is not the time to be with them. I can tell you from first hand experience (with a man who is now my amazing husband) that the second option is a powerful life lesson. In the in-between years, the redirect, I learned courage, patience, and what I really wanted. This was all the result of the timing being "off".

Failed at a new job? A project? Staying out of debt? Life and experience can truly point you in the direction you're meant to go. Everything happens at the exact time it is meant to; including failures. Learning and growth are the positive result of things not going how you planned. Next time you're met with failure, or even something not going how you thought it would, I challenge you to change your perspective. Ask yourself: 1. Why does this upset me?

2. How does this change my plans?

3. How can I move forward?

If you find yourself coming up with strategies to try again, you know that you really want it and you are fortunate enough to be able to try again (and learn more than you could have the first time). If the answer to #3 is heading in a different direction, then your "failure" was in fact a redirection. Some may call it romanticism or optimism to view the world this way, but to me, it's realism and hope. It's a survival tactic. Perspective is the one choice we all have in any scenario, and the way we move forward. I'm not alone in the experience of negative thoughts from "failure" taking me to dark places mentally. Once I realized the power that thoughts and self-talk actually have, I reframed it:

Failure is a chance to try again and learn more to serve you later. Failure saves you from heartbreak. Failure lets you appreciate the "thing" later more than you ever could have the first time you attempted it. Failure is life's greatest redirect. Failure is a good thing. But most importantly: failure, doesn't make you a failure. Keep moving forward friend, and know that you are never alone!